The BF and I have a few of those on going "debates" that hover somewhere between friendly fire and a full-on battle. I'm sure everyone knows what I'm talking about, those life long arguments that come up now and again that you have with your significant other, your dad, your best friend, your brother. Something that can never possibly be agreed upon but isn't so serious or important or prevalent that would lead to actual issues in the relationship. So what's our big debate? Me, as man-hater. Of course, I'm not a man-hater, hence the argument. The BF feels differently. He thinks I judge men unfairly based only on my experiences (well, duh). He thinks I generalize too much. And that part's true. I do have a certain affinity to "all" and "every" statements, but I don't mean it. In fact, I'm lucky enough to know an incredible amount of awesome men, and unfortunate enough to know an extremely large number of terrible women. So, when I generalize, I am doing just that, generalizing. BUT my generalizations are based on very real circumstances. My point in offering you this information is to make my next statement that much more serious: It's time for us girl's to take some responsibility.
The beloved book "He's Just Not That Into You" is, in my very humble opinion, the biggest generalization in the history of gender generalizations. It destroys the potential for very successful relationships to ever form or grow. How does it do this? Well it gives girls a reason not to put themselves out there, to be pessimistic (which is certainly just as bad as overly hopeful and naive). It lets the smallest guy moves (which really aren't thought through that deeply) be interpreted by said girls as negative, always. I mean, obviously he must not be that into you if he ever reschedules. God forbid, the guy have a life. Or feel unsure or nervous. I mean I thought we wanted men to have jobs and good families--those things require TIME. I thought girls wanted guys that were sensitive and emotionally available--being able to deal with a lady's emotions will require having a few of their own. I do believe in the importance of chivalry and will acknowledge it's slow extinction; It would be nice if all men retained that politeness that's been so lost over the years, but how can women demand that of men when we have lost it as well?
It's easy for me to say, right, because I'm in a relationship. But had I listened to that book, I wouldn't be in this relationship (3 years later). Maybe I'll write a book called, "He's Into You, But He's So Into You That He's Not Sure How To Deal With These Feelings, So Be Patient." Single girls, be protective of your hearts, but don't (please don't--and you know who you are) become jaded and hopeless, otherwise when you do finally meet that guy he's going to accuse you of being a man-hater, and that's not what you are! You are a sucky person hater! Just like me. Damn all them sucky people for making the rest of us look bad. Be nice boys and girls, we really do need each other.